I fear DEATH
wat happened during the MRT ride made mi realised tat.
it definitely crushed my hopes of becomin someone workin in the frontline for the sick and injured
convinced tat i realli cn't handle the agony of losing someone,
even if it was just a stranger...

it was tot to be just a normal journey home
Suddenly,
Bang!
followed by the multiple short gasps
What a nasty blow!
my sis, who was listenin to her mp3, could even hear it

a middle-aged man jus fell flat on the ground from his seat
he lost his consciousness and fell over
people started crowdin around him,
there were some great samaritans who offer their help
n told my sis, who was standin near the emergency button, to press it

of cos there are alwaes those non-chalent, indifferent souls
the black sheeps
who cldn't be bothered
he was jus right in front of the emergency button
wit his height, he cld easily reach the button
nonetheless, he was way too busy fiddlin with his phone
that he didn't even bother to help press the button,
when many passengers were askin for it.
my sis, who isn't any taller than me,
had to bounce up n down in order to reach it

the emergency button was pressed
the train stopped at the next station
the man was still unconscious
his body went pale white
mumblings start flooding the cabin
n of cos the KPOs start poppin their heads left and right to peek at the situation
jus as to satisfyin their curiosities

luckily,
there was a passenger who i believe is a doctor
who went to help immediately
measurin his pulse and shakin his hands to wake him up
the man finalli regain consciousness....

Throughout the incident,
i was in a state of shock.

unconsciously,
i crossed my fingers,
i was holdin my breath.
pessimism floods my head,
my emotions led me astray.
i could feel those tears tryin to break through that barrier in my eyes
i was prayin deep down in my heart
hopin that the man would be fine

those scenarios spinnin in my mind were frightenin,
i was intimidated.

after the man regained consciousness,
i was questionin myself.
bein CPR-certified,
would i perform it in times of emergency
wit the certified card in my wallet,
i would really hope to save a person's life
but whether anot the timidity would conquer mi,
that im not sure..

for now,

the fear remains unsubdued,
the question remains unsolved..